Stormy Fear
by ayjaydee
Summary: Alan tries to get over his fears. Lots of brotherly fluff and realizations.


**This story is written in movie verse just to let you know. And it does get kinda sappy so if you don't like it don't read it. I also want to know if anyone wants me to write a sequal to this or leave it as is, so please review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Thunderbirds.**

Stormy Fear

Alan Tracy shivered as the rain beat down on him, chilling him to the bone. He couldn't even feel rough rocky outcropping he was sitting on any more. An involuntary tremor ran through his body as the thunder boomed and the waves crashed against the shore.

_This is stupid,_ he thought. _I'm afraid of something that can't even hurt me. But that's why I'm here; to get over this weakness. I can't be weak, I have to be strong._ But his thoughts weren't helping. The fear was still there.

Ever since Alan could remember, he had been afraid of thunderstorms. He'd always kept the knowledge to himself though, never telling his family or even Tin-Tin whom he trusted with most of his secrets. Not once did the subject of his nightmares ever come up.

_I'm 15 and I can't even handle a storm. What kind of leader does that make me?_ Over and over he kept berating himself, not noticing the voices calling out for him above the rushing wind. He was too wrapped up in his fear.

Finally, after what seemed like years, the thunder stopped. The sea calmed and the clouds rolled away to reveal the stars. Someone came up behind him.

"Oh my goodness, Alan! We've been searching for over an hour!" exclaimed an extremely worried Scott Tracy.

Alan didn't even notice his brother. "I did it," he said softly. "I outlasted the storm." Then he collapsed into Scott's strong arms, unconscious from exhaustion, shock, and cold.

Scott silently gathered up his brother's sodden form and carried him back to the house.

TB

Alan blinked against the light streaming in through the window. _How did I get here?_ He wondered to himself, starting to realize that he was not in his room but in the infirmary. He couldn't think straight. The pain in his head was making his thoughts fuzzy.

_The wind, the rain, the cold._ The events of what had happenedran through his shocked brain fast enough to make him feel sick.

_Of course, the storm. I made it, _he thought proudly, but it was soon replaced with confusion. _What happened after that?_ He had a vague memory of someone catching him then everything going black. After a few moments it hit him.

His eyes traveled around the room till they landed on a figure slumped over in a chair. Scott. It had been Scott who found him. He frowned. _It looks as if he's been there for a long time._

"Hey Scott. Wake up." Alan's voice sounded dry and his head pounded painfully.

Scott stirred. "What?" he said wearily, blinking his eyes against the sun as his brother had done just moments before. His eyes widened though, as he realized his brother was awake and staring at him.

"Thank the Lord, Alan. You had me scared senseless. How do you feel?" Scott was up and hovering before he had even finished the first sentence.

"Like crap," said Alan, his voice still raspy.

"Well that's to be expected. When I found you, you passed out from exhaustion and cold. Then when we got back here, Virgil said that you were in the mild stages of hypothermia. I really don't think I've seen dad so freaked out in years." All of the sudden his expression went from concerned to stern.

"Why the heck did you go outside, knowing full well that there was a storm coming, and not come back?" Alan flinched as his brother's voice aggravated his headache. "We were searching for over an hour! None of us could stop thinking about what could have happened to you! Just tell me why, Alan." He looked at his brother waiting for him to say something.

Alan tried to speak but his throat was so dry no sound came out. He indicated that he needed something to drink, so Scott got up and brought him some water. He waited patiently as Alan drank it.

After finishing the glass, Alan thought for a moment about how to word his answer then turned to his brother.

"I needed to do it Scott. I couldn't go another thunderstorm being afraid. I needed to get over my weakness." Alan knew that he was revealing his secret, but he owed it to his family, for putting them through this mess.

Scott sat stunned for a moment. "What are you talking about Al? What weakness?" As far as Scott knew, his baby brother had no fears. Or else, he hid them extremely well.

"Ever since I was little, I've been afraid of thunderstorms. I really have no idea why. But every time they come I can't sleep and I get these nightmares were I'm drowning and every time I try to get near the surface I get pulled back under." His voice shook as his body trembled. "I hate them Scotty." The nickname told the oldest Tracy brother just how bad these dreams were for his brother.

"That's why I went down to the beach. I just couldn't stand the fact that at fifteen, stupid storms still scare me!" Scott could hear the frustration in his voice and knew that it was born out of a desire to act like nothing was wrong.

"But why did you never tell us? We could have helped you through it," said Scott, his tone reproachful.

Alan shook his head slowly. He looked tired and sad. "No, this was something I had to do on my own." He turned away from his brother. "I'm sorry Scott."

"What do have to be sorry for?"

"For scaring you guys and dad, but mostly for being such a liability to the team. I mean, come on, who ever heard of a rescue worker that's afraid of storms?" There was a real bitterness to his tone now and Scott couldn't bear to hear anymore.

"No, Allie, no. You've never ever been a liability to the team or to us. You've got to trust me." His little brother looked away again in disbelief, but Scott grabbed his chin, forcing Alan to look at him. "Look at me Al. Do you think I would lie to you? You're my brother and I love you. We all do."

"Do you really?" Scott was slightly stunned at the seriousness of his voice.

"Of course we do. How could you think otherwise?"

Although Alan remained calm on the outside, the oldest Tracy brother could read his brother like a book. He could see that his baby brother was desperately trying to fight back tears. "Because, Scott, no one acts like it." Scott was taken aback by his words.

"What do you mean Allie?" He didn't miss the look on his brother's face at the nickname.

"When have any of you ever showed any respect for me? When was the last time you all even showed you liked me? No one has ever let me be who I want to be. It's always been 'be more responsible like Scott' or 'study harder like John'. Never my own self. It's like no one cares about what I could be or will like me for what I am." The tears were now starting to fall as years of resentment and the hurt his family had caused him welled up in him. Alan's words tore at Scott's heart, not only because they hurt but also because they rang with truth. "Why can't you all accept me? Why can't you all realize that I'm not a kid anymore?" Now he was practically shouting and struggling to get out of the bed.

"Put one foot on that floor and I'll sedate you then hook you up to an IV," came a new voice from the doorway.

Alan froze and looked up. "Virgil?" He watched as his brother walked into the room. There were fresh tear tracks on his face and glancing over he noticed the same thing about his oldest brother who sat rigid in his chair. "H- how long have you been there?" he asked Virgil, stammering in embarrassment.

"Long enough to know what jerks we are," came the voice of Gordon who walked through the door after his brother. There were red marks on his cheeks to match his brothers'. Both of them moved to sit beside Alan and Scott. "We are so, so sorry Allie. We never guessed…we never realized…we're sorry." Gordon couldn't get the words out fast enough. He was the closest to Alan; they were partners-in-crime. It had made a hole in his heart to hear those words come out of his baby brother's mouth. He couldn't stand to think that that was what Alan thought.

"We love you Al. More than you could ever imagine," said Virgil shakily. It cut him to the core when he thought of what his youngest brother had said about them. But what really hit home was that most of it was true. And that really hurt.

Scott's eyes sought out Alan's. When they met, the most hard-willed Tracy brother felt the tears start to brim his eyes again. "I love you Allie. Just as you are. No one could take your place. You have to believe me." He was desperate and it showed in his voice. He didn't want to lose his baby brother because they were too stupid to see what was there. Scott could see now that this was never just about his fear of storms. It was the fear that he was losing his family and the fact that he wanted to prove himself worthy of them. "Please forgive us Alan."

Alan was silent as he looked at his brothers. They all loved him and he could see that now. He knew deep in his heart they would never intentionally hurt him. The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a small grin as the last of his tears dried. Then he spoke three simple words that relived the ache in his brothers' hearts.

"I forgive you."

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